I realized the other day that being a military spouse of 18 years has prepared me to know how to deal with being quarantined in the house with my seven kids.
Now I get to do both deployment and quarantine! Sweet!
Part of military life is never knowing what is going to happen. You wait for your orders, to move, to find out if you or your spouse promoted, for deployment to end, for deployment to start, for deployment to be half over, for a medical waver to come through and on and on and on.
And then, when you are all set for what ever you were waiting for to happen, the military changes it.
One of my challenges with this type of life has been to learn to live in the present. After about one year in a locations my mind starts to wander to where we might possibly move to next, what neighborhood we should live in, what kind of housing will be available, what will school look like for my kids . . . . and I still have 1-2 years left at the current location.
Often I also might start to worry. I look at how long my husband will be gone and start to feel overwhelmed or discouraged by how long it will be.
Since worry only lives in the past and the future, I am going to share a few things that I have done when I start to wonder if something is ever going to end, like quarantine.
First, I stay in the present by focusing on my daily tasks.
We are always ok in the present. Ask yourself what you are currently doing. Make a mental or physical list of things that need to be done today and focus on those.
This strategy also helped me after the birth of my first child when I had postpartum depression. I had no idea what was wrong and it felt like it would never end. My mother who had suffered from postpartum depression herself taught me to focus on the present in this way.
Second, as a parent make sure you still go on dates. Even when my husband is gone I go on dates with myself. I lock myself in my room and watch a movie or do some other project I want to get done. Often I just need some down time where someone else is in charge. I even pay one of my kids to babysit my littles. I give myself permission to take care of myself during these dates.
Third, decide now to enjoy whatever circumstance life is throwing at you.
We have no idea how long this will last but it can be fun! Every deployment I have a family meeting with my kids and make a list of fun things they want to do while dad is gone. Make of list of fun things that your family wants to do during quarantine and put them in your calendar. When that list is done, make another list and put it in your calendar. Repeat until quarantine is done. If you are single or your family doesn’t want to do anything, make your own list. Remember, the anticipation of Christmas is usually better than Christmas day (well, for me at least!).
Our brains are constantly looking for problems, so they seek out problems that could potentially happen in the future. By scheduling a list of fun things to look forward to, we are giving our brains a positive place to go instead of a negative place. Now I can say to myself “I can’t wait for April 9th when we have our marathon Harry Potter movie day, with the fun treats and activities we planned!”
Some of our fun activities include the Harry Potter Day, a spa day, an acrylic painting tutorial day, a Jane Austen Day, an Anne of Green Gables tea party, and a Star Wars marathon day among others.
Good Luck! I’d love to hear your fun ideas!
Great advice! Some powerful ideas in here.