It was June of 2016, I was nine weeks pregnant and my family was currently stationed in Rhode Island. As a mother of five children I could tell something was different with this pregnancy. I usually did not get sick with pregnancy, however this time I was laying on the couch most of the day feeling nauseous and tired, not to mention my larger than normal belly. No one shows at 9 weeks, yet I was! At my first appointment with the midwife I insisted on an early ultrasound. I wanted my questions answered: Why do I look 4 months pregnant, why am I so sick, why am I so tired, I couldn’t possibly be having twins, could I?
Yes, yes I was having twins. Later that week the ultrasound confirmed fraternal twins. My family of five children was going to be a family of seven children!
I am thankful for each one of my children. With each child a person feels a wide range of emotions and has new experiences. Having twins (a boy and a girl) brought me to a new phase of my life experience. At about the time my twins were a year old I started to feel an increased amount of anxiety that persisted all day long, every day. I think I felt this anxiety frequently in my life but it was begging to be dealt with at this time. I truly thought that their was something wrong with me because I was having anxiety. I’ve always been one to figure out a solution to my problem so I researched emotions and sought out amazing mentors to find a solution to my anxiety.
I never would have thought that I could lead such a peaceful life being a military spouse and having 7 kids. Yet I am!
The solution to my anxiety problem was my thoughts!! I learned that emotions are not just something that happen to me but something I create by what I am thinking. This knowledge revolutionized my world. I did not have to feel anxious unless I wanted to feel anxious! That meant that no matter what my circumstance I could feel at peace.
Even when my husband is deployed? Yes! Even when there is a huge backup trying to get on base because someone does not have the proper ID? Yes! Even when I go to the commissary and I have to decided how to deal with the baggers who work for tips only? Yes!
Let’s talk the baggers who work for tips. How many times have you gone to the commissary and only picked up a few things and went through self checkout because you didn’t feel like tipping the baggers? Me? Lots of times! When I was first married and my husband and I were young in the military I wondered about this craziness. Tip the baggers? I hardly have any money right now to buy food and now you want me to tip the baggers on top of the 5% surcharge the commissary requires?
These thoughts caused me extreme annoyance, so in order to avoid these feelings I shopped elsewhere. The problem though was that changing my circumstance did not change my feelings about baggers. I carried around those feelings for 17 years until I learned that I decided what I thought about the baggers and that I was not going to let this circumstance upset me any more.
So what did I do? I changed my thoughts. My thoughts changed my feelings and my feelings changed my actions. My thought changed to “I feel better when I’m generous.” My feeling changed to kindness and my actions changed to giving a bigger tip. What was my result? I saw myself as a kind and giving person. I had better feelings about myself and kinder thoughts towards the baggers. I saw them as wonderful people trying to help me instead of some pest to be avoided.
Who knew that having twins would change my feelings about the baggers at the commissary?
